the 27 club
Feeling lost, the release of Brat, and what I want from my 27th year
I am a July baby, with a birthday just a week after the equinox. For me, this time of year is perfect to reflect on where I’m at in my life and what I want from the next six months, the next year, and beyond.
It’s no secret that being in your mid-twenties is a disorienting experience. On the one hand, some people are getting engaged, having babies, or buying houses. On the other hand, some people are out every weekend, still figuring out their careers, or struggling to make rent this month. With the abundance of snippets of other people’s lives on social media, it’s easy to open my phone and imagine a to-list of all the adult things we’re meant to do. A list that everyone else is completing, and that I am deeply behind on.
Like many other people my age, the excessive exposure to other people’s lives on social media has left me confused and lost.
Social media forces us to compare ourselves to each other constantly. In many ways, this has done me some good. See other people live their lives has held me accountable to living mine to best I can. I feel like my life is very full; I live with people that I love in a city that I adore. I spend plenty of time on my weekends with friends and family. I go out for walks, travel, see gigs. I am living a happier life than I was in my early twenties. In fact, social media has contributed to the fullness of my life. It has exposed me to forms of exercise that make my body feel strong, it shows me recipes that I enjoy eating, places that enjoy visiting, experiences that I wouldn’t have known about if it weren’t for the internet.
With all that said, there is always a voice in the back of my head that tells me that there is so much I am missing out on. I wonder how other women my age can afford to live their lifestyles; nails, blowouts, beautiful outfits from Damson Madder, multiple holidays a year. I can’t help but question am I in the wrong career? Should I have chosen a career that pays better? Should I just appreciate what I have? Do I even want these things, or do I want them because other women have them?
The exposure to so many people’s lives and their lifestyles and the perceived perfection that goes along with it has left me feeling lost in myself. I don’t truly know whether my wants and dreams are my own, or whether they were created for me by an algorithm.
With all these thoughts going through my head, the release of Charli XCX’s Brat came at the right time. Although Charli describes deeply personal experiences so clearly tied to her own life, she has weaved them into a tapestry of deeply relatable pop songs. I see myself and my friends echoed throughout her whole album.
Hearing Brat made me realise that my experiences are not unique to me. If Charli fucking XCX wants to rewind and start over again, then what hope do I have?
Instead of comparing myself to others, thinking how my life would be different if I had made different choices, let’s look forward. I start my 27th year soon, and my desires may not exist in the vacuum of me, but at the end of the day, they are mine.
So, this year I want to continue to save and buy a house. I want to expand my music taste. I want to see more live music. I want to travel. I want to stop and smile at the small things in life. I want to move my body more and fuel it well. I want to continue to live a full life and find ways to make it fuller. I want to dampen the voices that compare me to others and live my life.